By PDMACpayday loans
Red Sox Win, Man Sees UFO. Coincidence? I think not. ~ 2004-10-12
MY UFO STORY (OR HOW BUDWEISER SAVED THE DAY… AGAIN)
By Wendyâ€™s Husband
Okay, hereâ€™s what happened (forget that I had another really long, stressful day that involved several near mishaps in this insane Boston traffic. Forget that Iâ€™m the second most paranoid conspiracy theorist I know. Forget that Iâ€™m a life-long insomniac and have constant hallucinations during the day from sleep deprivation. Forget that Iâ€™m researching all those UFOs (which are oh so very carefully) described in the Bible. Forget all that). I popped open an ice-cold Bud (in a can!) and Vladimir Guerrero smacked a big, fat grand slam and tied the game 6 â€“ 6. I felt the collective stomach of all the folks at Fenway Park drop through the bleachers all the way out here in the ghetto. I looked at my beer. â€œSon of a crack,â€ I said.
Did my opening a beer just as Guerreroâ€™s bat made contact with the ball jinx the Sox? I sulked. I tried to distract myself. â€œDonâ€™t watch,â€ I said. I fed Kumar and Futureman. I fed Gabby and Rya. I started fishing through the dirty clothes hamper for my lucky sock hat and then it hit me. If it worked onceâ€¦ maybe it would work again. I waited and waited and waited. I tried to pick just the right moment. Finally I couldnâ€™t take it anymore. I was dying of thirst. I looked at the â€œborn onâ€ date: SEPTEMBER 14. â€œThatâ€™s fresh,â€ I thought. I popped it open and WHACK! David Ortiz smacked a 2-run shot in the bottom of the 10th. Fin! Sweep! Series over! I looked at my beer. â€œRight on,â€ I said.
Gabby and I celebrated by working on our Halloween party invitations and chasing tennis balls from the living room into the kitchen and back. Rya celebrated by licking up the beer I had spilled on the coffee table. Usually she does this herself. (Sheâ€™ll knock over a beer or glass of wine with her tail and then look at you as if to say, â€œSorryâ€¦ it was an accident. Well, here, Iâ€™ll just lick it up. No worries.â€ Sheâ€™s the lickinest dog in the universe. She has several nicknames: Lickie, Lickie Lake, TJ Lickers. This week I made up a song that goes â€œOh Lickie youâ€™re so fine, youâ€™re so fine you blow my mind, hey Lickieâ€¦ hey Lickie.â€)
Finally it was time to go pick the Bookish Girl up from the bookstore (I get to vacuum and shake out the rug). But just as I was getting ready to leave I heard this crazy wub-wub-wub-wub-wub-wub-wub-wub-wub sound coming from outside. Gabby ran to the office window to look out. â€œWhat the hell?â€ I thought. It wasnâ€™t a helicopter, quite, but similar. I honest-to-God had this thought as I walked down the steps: What if thereâ€™s a UFO out here?
I stepped off the porch and onto the sidewalk and thatâ€™s when I saw it. It scared the hell out of me at first. It was the size of a small building, but rounder. And all lit up. It roared like the sea. It hovered directly above the housing project across the street. For a second I thought maybe the aliens were going to beam up the dudes that mugged me last winter and beat the hell out of them (or at least give them the anal probe). I squinted into the darkness and put my hand up to block out the street light.
There was writing on the side of the UFO but I couldnâ€™t quite make it out. At first I thought it said: BEER. But then I realized I was just having one of those Homer Simpson-esque moments, some kind of mental Freudian slip. I stepped closer. The air hissed and cracked and buzzed like a Poulan. Finally I could see the writing clearly. The UFO had the word HOOD written on the side in great big letters. HOOD. I said the word over and over to myself. â€œHood. Hood.â€ What the hell could it mean? Then I remembered a verse from the book of Ezekiel that says â€œabove the heads of the creatures there was something that looked like a dome made of dazzling crystal and the word HOOD glowed hence.â€
â€œHoly Christ,â€ I thought. Was this the end of the world? If I had hair it would have been standing straight up. I stood paralyzed and watched the UFO until it drifted slowly away. I couldnâ€™t wait to tell the Bookish Girl. Would she even believe me? I climbed in the car and raced toward the bookstore. What would I say? How would I tell her? And then in one of those rare moments that can only be described as an epiphany, it occurred to me that I could save the world by rushing home and popping open another Bud. â€œHoney, youâ€™ll never believe what happened,â€ I said bursting into the bookstore. â€œWhat?â€ she said. â€œIâ€™ll tell you as soon as we get home,â€ I said. â€œWeâ€™ve got to hurry.â€
Editor’s Note: Needless to say, we’ve got a whole case of Budweiser in the fridge ready for tonight.
One is the loneliest Number ~ 2004-10-12
Yeah Windsor Button!
Lookeee at all the goodies. A treat for me, something for the sister, something for a new munchkin in incubation and something for Gus (cutie newborn pic of the little man.)
Three hours later and this is what I have.
Isn’t it the cutest thing you’ve ever seen? They’re UGG booties from a Knitty Gritty episode. Check out the pattern here. They use Berroco Suede and Berroco Plush. They have a cool “suede” texture to them. It was super easy to knit and if you’re patient any level of knitter could do it. Attaching the fuzz was the most difficult part. I chose to use the Plush yarn to pick up stitches along the sides and over the front. I then weaved another strand through these stitches. I switched the two suede colors by accident. The darker should be the sole. Oh well, I think it turned out pretty good! Iâ€™ll get started on to the second one soon.
Check out KatyKnits version. She did hers in one color of Suede. They are just as cute and if you donâ€™t already have suede in your stash I am pretty sure you could get one pair out of one ball. Too cute!