Conversation
Scene: Yesterday. Sophia’s Pediatricians Office (who we lovingly refer to as Dr. Tool). She’s here for her two-month check up, although she is just over 10 weeks now. The Doctor hasn’t yet entered the office.
Bookish Girl: Robby, look through the drawers and find some Chux Pads.
Robby: Are you asking me to steal these?
BG: The lactation consultant told me to do this. She said that they will come in handy when I am pumping in my office at work. They’ll absorb any spills, you know how clumsy I am. Besides, it is not really stealing…our insurance is paying an arm and a leg for our visit and these supplies are part of our visit. Just grab them!
Robby gives Bookish Girl “the look”. Clearly he doesn’t approve of this rationalization. He reluctantly stuffs three Chux Pads into the diaper bag as he stares at the door out of the corner of his eyes.
Robby: What if Dr. Tool walks in?
BG: He won’t care – we’ll just tell him why we need them.
Meanwhile – I am nursing Sophia. She had a bit of a melt down as soon as we walk in the door. I think she knows she is going to get stabbed with a needle during the visit.
The Dr enters with a third year med student who will take our initial information, he is about 12 years old. I continue to breast feed throughout the exam with both Drs. present and in full view of my boob.
We finish the exam, Sophia is stuck with the needles (as a side note: I don’t think I’ll ever be the same, that scream will live with me forever.), and the Drs. leave. I am trying to calm Sophia who has reached epic levels of panic. I look over at Rob who is stuffing MORE CHUX PADS into our bag.
BG: What are you doing? You were barely able to grab those before!
R: The doctors got to see your boobs. This is a give and take relationship and they have to pay up with SOMETHING. They see your boobs. We get to take home more Chux pads.
Our marriage has reached a new level.
A look at my boobs is equal in value to a stack of Chux pads…super absorbent hospital grade Chux pads.
Watch out girls – the jealousy may kill you.
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