Box full of hearts
Thank you for all your comments and emails. I have decided to give Kristine and Arthur a print out of the post and the comments when I see them next week. I am going to be in Boston for about 12 hours and thankfully will be able to see them for a few of those.
I have been planning a care package to send to them or to give when I see them in person. So far I plan to include some yummy homemade granola, some laminated pictures of N and Sophia for N to have, a crown for Neala (from this book), and something knitted. I had some trouble with this last one. My plan was to knit something for the baby after it arrived. I was thinking one of these cute Baby Surprise Kits from Blue Moon would work. I still may do that as a therapeutic process and then just put it away for safekeeping. I’m not sure if that will help or not. I have to think on it some more.
In the meantime, as a knitter I show love, compassion, and caring through my craft. I typically only knit for family and close friends. And when I do that I am very cognizant of the recipient as I knit for them, stitching in hopes, dreams, kind thoughts, and power. I have talked of the power of handknits and my feelings on it before. What to knit for a care package of this nature? I was clicking through Ravelry and came across this pattern for little hearts. I’ll start knitting today and see how many I can get done before I leave next week. How nice would it be to give a box filled with hearts? Wish me luck!
PS - if you have any other suggestions of things to include let me know…my brain is a bit mushy still.
Can I send some hearts? Please let me know.
08 Nov 2007 at 12:45 pm
I love the idea of a box of hearts. And I bet they’d be fun for N, to line up and count and such.
I am sending healing thoughts to both of your families. I can’t even imagine going through that kind of heartbreak. I’ll give Junior some extra cuddles tonight to let him know how lucky we are to have him in our lives.
08 Nov 2007 at 12:55 pm
Little hearts that your friends can hold on to when they need comfort are a beautiful idea.
08 Nov 2007 at 1:07 pm
I, too, knit for love. When my sister’s husband, a small-town policeman, was killed on duty last spring, I had to knit.
I made Sandi Wiseman’s Comfort Shawl (www.knittingdaily.com/freepatterns/shawls_stoles/Comfort_Shawl_Faroese_Island85-1.html)for my sister in about 10 days–fat wool, big needles, mostly stockinette.
It comforted me to knit it when I could not be by her side; she knew she was getting hugs when she received it, and just a few days ago e-mailed to say that she still wraps it around her shoulders on the “rough” days, knowing that it’s really my arms around her, laying on the hugs. Perhaps your dear friend and you, too, could use the comfort, and the hearts too.
08 Nov 2007 at 1:24 pm
I think the heart idea is just about perfect.
08 Nov 2007 at 2:54 pm
The hearts are a great idea. I LOVE her designs, and I’m sure she’d love to hear how you are using the hearts.
Hugs to all.
08 Nov 2007 at 3:06 pm
If they are tea drinkers, I would send a soothing tea. Other than that, the hearts are a perfect note.
08 Nov 2007 at 3:21 pm
I think the hearts are a great idea. It’s also a nice knit for a whole family, as I can definitely see their little N playing with them.
I’m a big believer in the power of the knitty love too (see http://aswiminknits.blogspot.com/2007/10/making-maf-ghan.html)
Another idea for your care package is a “memory box”. It could be any kind of sturdy decorative box (whatever their tastes are — I’m picturing something like this — http://www.containerstore.com/browse/Product.jhtml?CATID=71230&PRODID=71180). — or you can decorate your own.) This can be a place where your friends can store their physical memories of their child (ultrasound photos, personal or personalized gifts that they already received, “belly photos”, etc.). A place to put all of the things that they don’t want to lose track of over the years, but that they may not really want to have on display everyday.
08 Nov 2007 at 3:36 pm
I think your box of hearts is just the right touch, and you, being there for them. I have experienced grief, and really, its about being there beyond the first week or so after, but in the long haul when everyone else has moved on.
08 Nov 2007 at 4:59 pm
A seedling? Planting a tree can be a powerful, permanent reminder–something they can tend to and watch grow.
08 Nov 2007 at 6:42 pm
The hearts are lovely, as would be a cozy hug of a shawl. Such a sad thing - I’m so sorry to think of a family struck like that.
08 Nov 2007 at 10:30 pm
I’ve been thinking about how to put my response to your last post into words. My response has changed since I became a mother. Life became more precious, and my response to the loss of a child far more profound. As words have never bent to my will, I cannot put into words the profound sadness I felt after reading your last post (pregnancy hormones don’t help either).
09 Nov 2007 at 9:29 am
I think the idea of a box of hearts is wonderful. And Danielle’s suggestion of a memory box is a good one too. As one who has experienced the loss of a baby, the thing I think that will help your friends the most is knowing that you are there and that you care, which is obvious not only from your posts, but all the thought and love you are putting into this package. Just continue to be there for them, they and you will heal, but it takes a long time and a lot of love. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
09 Nov 2007 at 10:13 am
I think you got it-a box full of hearts is a beautiful idea!! Any little thing will show how much you care and that you are there for them.
09 Nov 2007 at 10:58 pm
The box of hearts is a fabulous idea, as is including the tea, some stickers for N … it doesn’t need to be anything big, it’s just a tangible reminder of how very much you ache for them.
10 Nov 2007 at 4:26 pm
from another mush brain, I say just knit. I am working on a shawl for my mom that I hope to have done by Friday for my dad’s wake. I just sit heres zombie-like and knit. It is therapeutic. The rest of the world goes on as if everything is fine but I know better, it is NOT fine. Right now it is stupid. I think a box full of knitted hearts sounds lovely, too much energy for me to knit something that complicated though. Blessings to you and your friends.
13 Nov 2007 at 3:04 am