The hearts are extremely satisfying to knit. I did a few with Noro Kureyon, the colorway varies from Red to Dark Green to purple. It was perfect for what I was feeling. I did some more with Rowan Chunky Print (sadly discontinued), some others with Reynolds Blizzard. I have a bunch of other yarn set aside and I’ll be knitting all week.

Rob and I decided Friday morning that we needed to be in Boston this weekend for Baby G’s service. We drove the 6 hours Friday afternoon, arriving late at the Obsession House. Sophia was a champion traveler the entire weekend. We spent Saturday with Kristine, Arthur, N, their family and friends. There was a mass, burial, and gathering at a family member’s house. It was incredibly healing and I am so glad we went. We spent the rest of our time with Alan, Jess and N. Sunday came too quickly. Kristine, Arthur and N joined us for an afternoon of football, stories, pictures, and some even a bit of laughter. I feel quite a bit better after this weekend. I still am angry, pissed, and confused about the why. But, I know that there is meaning somewhere and we just have to be patient for it to reveal itself. Kristine and Arthur are hanging in there. I think it was good for them to spend the time with people that love them. They have a long road to haul. They did a beautiful job with the service and have shared so much of themselves through all of this.

We talked and talked on Sunday. Kristine shared and Arthur shared and we wondered why it all happened. At the end of our conversation the only thing I could conclude was - It was just stupid. The whole thing stupid. The loss of a child - stupid. The fact that we all had to have these conversations - stupid. All of it - stupid.

And you know what? I felt better after that…calling it all stupid helped. Because that’s what it is. There just are no two ways about it. It’s stupid.