It’s been a few weeks since I posted about my frustrations with balancing “it” all. As always, I felt better just as a result of getting it all out. I have also been ruminating on what you all said and have made a few adjustments to my attitude and my daily life. Mostly, I find myself remembering your thoughts throughout the day and often that is enough to shift my focus to what really matters. Me. My Family. Enjoying the Everyday.

To this end here are some things that I have done / thought since last posting on this topic:

1 - Stayed conscience of the joy of little things. So many people have said it better than me. To repeat it in less eloquent terms: Life is made up of little thing. Big things happen here and there. But the little things happen all the time. Find joy in them. You’ll always have to wash dishes, do laundry, and commute. Find the joy there and meditate on that.

2 - Along those same lines I’m learning that a lot of being a parent is tedious, menial and slave labor. (This is not to say it is without its rewards and, in my opinion, worth the work. But let’s face it - wiping someone’s ass every day? Not my idea of a good time). I’m working in giggles and laughter, and recognition that a - it will become less tedious (you told me it would! i believe you!) b - there is comfort and intimacy in the tedium. Right about the time I posted I found this post on design mom. There is a new publication, Seeing the Everyday, “A new magazine finding poetry in the prosaic”. (If you go here you can see a sample .pdf). It looks beautiful. This is EXACTLY what I’m trying to do - see the everyday. (btw - Juli - you got a subscription for Mother’s Day! I keep forgetting to tell you. )

3 - When I walk into work I take a sticky note and write the time at which I need to leave the office. I hang it on my computer monitor. When it gets to be that time I leave. If I still have work I decide how badly it needs to be done. If I am on a deadline (which I often am - my work is deadline based) I will bring home pieces of work to do after Sophia goes to bed. When I work at home I work on my unplugged laptop. When the battery dies…I stop working. It’s a great control mechanisms for someone who’s inner perfectionist often gets the better of her.

4 - One of the things mentioned was the need to develop a routine. Stay organized and work within that system. I realized that since moving from Boston - we don’t have a system. We are not organized. Our house is a mess - Sophia’s dresser drawers had cloths thrown into them when we first got into the house (we had about 2 hours to get her room set up before bedtime) and I haven’t had time to organize them. This causes all kinds of time suck during our morning routine. Finding a matching pair of socks?! Oy. Those damn tiny socks will be the end of me. Bury me in tiny sock singletons.

I haven’t had time to organize because my free time is spent trying to catch up with the dishes, laundry, and dust bunnies. So, I asked for help. My parents came over this past weekend and helped us do some stuff around the house. It was awesome because I was caught up and can now spend some time organizing and getting a system down. Hopefully I can stay ahead of the curve! Now, we weren’t always so lucky. We just recently moved back “home”, closer to family. However, our friends in Boston did the same type of thing for us when we put our condo on the market last spring. Sophia was a VERY fussy two-month old and there way no way we were going to be able to get our house into show worthy condition without help. So - I emailed our friends and they showed up one Saturday. I was embarrassed and felt horrible asking for that kind of help - but I saw no other way. I think we must have had at least 10 people there. Cleaning and organizing our teeny condo. If we would have done that on our own it would have taken us WEEKS. These guys blew it out in a few hours. And you know what - we showed the condo the next weekend and had an offer within two weeks. We would have missed those buyers. Asking for help usually pays off big. Knowing you have friends and family who are willing to clean for you? Pays off way bigger. I am still moved when I think of what happened that weekend. Those are some friends.

5 - At the suggestion of Kathy I have subscribed to the Six O’Clock Scramble. (BTW - Kathy posted her great comment on her site and got some more great comments - go read if you’re looking for inspiration.) We took our first trip to the grocery with the grocery list provided by the service and I made our first meal from it last night. So. Yum. Tonight we’ll try another. I love to cook and not having the time to do it has really made me sad. I hope this is a good solution.

6 - Prioritize. Reassess. Prioritize. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. You are so right! This is where I am trying to direct my thinking. Living consciously. We had a conversation about this at my knitting group a few months ago. How living with purpose has often been a bit of a thorn in my side because it’s just one. more. thing. to. do. My friend Amy, (sadly blogless, but a Ravelrer) noted that being stressed about living consciously kind of goes against the whole principle. She somehow explained it all in a way that clicked. You do the best you can, you reassess, you try not to get lost in the little things. You do the best you can, you pay attention, you screw up, you make a change. You are thus…living consciously.

7 - I have also had to remind myself that me screwing up and making it right is a waaaaayyyyy better model for my daughter than the alternative. This ties up the idea of letting go of perfection and embracing humanity. It is also my work and management style in my professional life. If I don’t know the answer - I admit it and find it. If I screw up - I admit it and fix it. If someone who works for me screws up - I expect that they will nod to the screw up and move on. Shit happens. We are not infallible. Why would I want to provide that kind of model for my daughter?

I think that’s about all. Overall, I feel a bit more relaxed and hope to tweak this whole LIFE thing as I go - I’m sure you’ll continue to hear about it.

How are you doing with it all?

I am wearing my favorite pre-preggers jeans for the first time since said pregancy commenced.

I am also wearing my pre-preggers bra for the first time.  Although, I think I may have been a bit ambitious here.  My cup overflowith - if you know what I mean.  Damn breastfeeding.

That is all.

I have a pretty fluid work/home relationship. I try not the bring the stress of work home with me or vice-versa. But I do work at home often and play at work only sometimes (damn that Elinor and her Scrabulous). The fact of the matter is - my job requires more than 40 hours/week of my time. In general, I’m okay with that. I like my job and I want to be good at what I do. I want to meet my personal goals. I want to meet the goals of the job. I am respected at work, I have a great management support system, and I work hard to gain and improve that infrastructure.

But more importantly, I want to be a great mother and wife. And that requires more of not only my time, but my mental space and energy.

Oy. The conflict.

So, I keep my office hours to at least 40 hours and work after baby goes to sleep. It’s still not enough time to get my bills paid, clean the kitchen and, not the mention, unpack and finish renovating a house. There is also not enough time to meet the needs of the day job. I get the bare minimum done, and I hit some goals, but not all. It’s also not enough time to be spending with my family. Frantic morning hours, a quick thrown together dinner, and some play time before bath and bed.

I’m working hard to eliminate the guilt, frustration, and dissatifaction inherent in the perfectionist brain that is mine.

I know many of you have been there - with or without a kid. We all face so many of the same conflicts.

How. Do. You. Do. It.?!

i told my sister that i was super hungry yesterday and couldn’t figure out why.

she said, “maybe you’re pregnant again.”

i laughed for about 15 minutes.

pregnancy 101 - to get pregnant you must have sex.  to have sex you must have energy.  to have energy you must not have a one year old who hates to sleep.  to not have a one year old who hates to sleep you must not have sex.

see the problem?!  someone really fucked up on that design.

intelligent design my ass.

I lost one of my all-time favorite mittens. I am in serious mourning.

They were handmade, though not by me, purchased at the NH Wet Wool Festival of 2006, remember that one?! The freaking rain? The puddles? The lack of warm weather gear? Well all of this prompted me to seek out mittens to purchase. Not the yarn to knit them - just the mittens. There was no time to knit.

The mittens I found were expensive. More than I would have spent on mittens for myself under normal circumstances. They were not over-priced, just expensive. I bought them out of sheer necessity and was surprised to find how much I loved them. I have no memory of the vendor. I do remember that Norma purchased some too. Do you remember the vendor Norma? (ETA: I found Norma’s old post about the mittens she bought - she even has a picture!)

They are the warmest mittens I have ever owned. They are cute and unique and made me feel good when worn. The miraculously matched my hand knit scarf and jacket. Neither of which was considered when the purchase was made.

Now one is gone.

I keep wearing the lone mitten. One hand freezes. It sucks. I love it too much to leave it behind.
One good thing has come of this lose. It made me remember to clue you guys into this project I heard about a bit ago…

One Cold Hand?

A lost and found repository for found mittens and gloves. Genius.

Sigh.

Mine isn’t there.

The banner girl is back!  Click through to the website if you are reading through a feed aggregator.

I’ve also added a widget for my LibraryThing account.

I will SLOWLY be rebuilding the site back to its former Glory (pre-upgrade and subsequent breakage).  I have a list of items to tackle and things may look a bit crappity crap in the meantime.

For now I’m excited to have the undies back, I missed them.

I am a bit of an office supply catelog whore.  I love them.  I lust after new shiny organizational items.  Setting up a new office at work has been heaven on earth for me these past few weeks.  The thrill of a find, new possibilities, bargain hunting.

I knew when I saw these, it was a match made in heaven.

Every office supply whore needs a pair of fishnets.  Fishnet file holders that is.

Wow.

We bought a house, closed right before Thanksgiving.

I finished my term at the Boston job (I was telecommuting).

We stayed with my parents for another 6 weeks while we “freshened up” the house.

Def. Freshen Up. verb. Paint interior top to bottom. Paint some ceilings 3 times because you change your mind on colors. Trim, oh the trim. Rip up carpet. Decide at last minute to refinish floors. Build a bedroom for baby out of an attic storage space. Fix electric. Clean. Clean. Clean.

After being unemployed for two weeks find a job that fits my exact needs.

Do a little Dance because owning a house without two incomes was scary.

Start Job.

Celebrate Christmas.

Celebrate New Years by hitting the bed at 10pm. This is late for me. Working full time during the week and full time on the house on the weekends is hard on the body.

Try to spend as much time as possible with the absolute Cutest Baby in the world.

Move in to house!

Replace hot water heater.

Sister moves in.

Get internet access.

Get ready to celebrate Sophia’s 1st Birthday!

—

All of this while Rob worked full time and I worked full time.

It feels good to be slowing down a bit and feels really good to write again.

See you soon! *promise*

(thanks for hanging in there and for checking up on me)

#1 - Slip and fall down the stairs as the Interviewer shows you the way out

… and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Yes, it is true. Just when you thought the humiliation couldn’t get any worse. You fall on your ass.

Any other embarrassing things that could have topped that?

Farting?

Blathering on and on about my imaginary friend?

Come on kids - earn your keep. Your secret will be safe with me. (And with the rest of the internets)

So, we are going to see the house still. Today. We figure - what the hell, you never know. The price is right and, right now, that’s a big deal. Fortunately it’s humid and rainy outside. So, we’ll smell all there is to smell and that will be that. Maybe I can Kinnear the house? The dog? The piles of poop? Stay tuned…you all know how crazy I am.

In the meantime feast your eyes on one of my crazy family members.

My Father-In-Law

You see my in-laws hold this football pool every year. Every week we go through the match ups and pick the winner. You get one point for each you get right. Pop won last year. This was also the year that my sister-in-law committed to obtaining a trophy for the winner. Upon finding out he was the winner last year Pop insisted that she buy the biggest trophy she could find. Look how proud he is! He emailed this picture to us all with the note,

HI ALL, I’VE GOT IT !!! I NOW HAVE THE “SOPHY TROPHY” FOR WINNING THE FAMILY COMPETITION LAST YEAR. IT WILL BE PASSED EACH YEAR TO THE NEW CHAMPION AND AN ENGRAVED PLATE FOR THAT YEAR WILL BE PLACED ON THE FRONT AND THE OLD PLATE MOUNTED ON THE SIDE. PICTURE ATTACHED WAS TAKEN AT THE ANNUAL PRESENTATION DINNER RECENTLY.

The trophy has been dubbed the “Sophy Trophy” after Sophia who was born just before Superbowl 2007. I love it! So much so that I’m not going to blink and eye when I win and steal that trophy out of that man’s hands. Sweet daughter-in-law pshaw…this is competition and I will win screw. Southern Hospitality.
Speaking of Southern, this is how my Brother-in-law responded to Pop’s email,

That is way yonder too cool…and a great trophy.

This family speaks like true Southerns (which they are), it’s so fun! The sayings I hear! Whew…the crack me up for days.

Hmmm, now that I think of it, we are headed down to visit him in December…I wonder if it would fit in my suitcase?