I am back to work today. Today is only the 4th time I have left Sophia (the 3rd time was only this past Saturday) and the 1st time for longer than a few hours. I am presently sitting at my desk in my office with tandem breast pumps attached to my boobs listening to the hmm-whosh of the breast pump. Not fun, not attractive but necessary. This is all hard. But I think I am doing okay. At least for today and when today is over I will worry about tomorrow and when that is over I will worry about the following day. That is really all any of us can do.

The upside (there is ALWAYS and upside) is that I have given myself permission to use this time during my day to write. Write for the blog, write for myself, write. So, with any luck and assuming I can keep my work load under control you should be hearing from me a bit more often. I have two hands free for the first time in three months. It’s amazing what you can do with these suckers.

Me back at work means another thing. The little miss is three months old.

She is doing great. Just yesterday she actually played with a toy. She engaged in it rather than the usual random whapping with the flying arm. She could kill a ninja with those arms. She’s that skilled.

The dress she is wearing is Debbie Bliss’s Picot Dress from her book Special Knits.

I used Rowan RYC Cashsoft 4-ply. I absolutely love, love, love this yarn. Love. If I knit it again I would do it in the round and I eliminated the pocket. Otherwise – the pattern was knit as intended. So. Cute.

PS – The Chux Pads are awesome for the office breast-pumping.

PPS – I was getting spammed to death and have implemented a few plugins to manage it. If the comments are wonky please let me know via the contact button.

Scene: Yesterday. Sophia’s Pediatricians Office (who we lovingly refer to as Dr. Tool). She’s here for her two-month check up, although she is just over 10 weeks now. The Doctor hasn’t yet entered the office.

Bookish Girl: Robby, look through the drawers and find some Chux Pads.

Robby: Are you asking me to steal these?

BG: The lactation consultant told me to do this. She said that they will come in handy when I am pumping in my office at work. They’ll absorb any spills, you know how clumsy I am. Besides, it is not really stealing…our insurance is paying an arm and a leg for our visit and these supplies are part of our visit. Just grab them!

Robby gives Bookish Girl “the look”. Clearly he doesn’t approve of this rationalization. He reluctantly stuffs three Chux Pads into the diaper bag as he stares at the door out of the corner of his eyes.

Robby: What if Dr. Tool walks in?

BG: He won’t care – we’ll just tell him why we need them.

Meanwhile – I am nursing Sophia. She had a bit of a melt down as soon as we walk in the door. I think she knows she is going to get stabbed with a needle during the visit.

The Dr enters with a third year med student who will take our initial information, he is about 12 years old. I continue to breast feed throughout the exam with both Drs. present and in full view of my boob.

We finish the exam, Sophia is stuck with the needles (as a side note: I don’t think I’ll ever be the same, that scream will live with me forever.), and the Drs. leave. I am trying to calm Sophia who has reached epic levels of panic. I look over at Rob who is stuffing MORE CHUX PADS into our bag.

BG: What are you doing? You were barely able to grab those before!

R: The doctors got to see your boobs. This is a give and take relationship and they have to pay up with SOMETHING. They see your boobs. We get to take home more Chux pads.

Our marriage has reached a new level.

A look at my boobs is equal in value to a stack of Chux pads…super absorbent hospital grade Chux pads.

Watch out girls – the jealousy may kill you.

Yes, yes I realize that Sophia could do BOTH quilting and knitting. In fact, I bet she’ll be so whip smart she could do both AT THE SAME TIME. However, if I give her crafting soul to my mother, without a fight, what will we argue about? Hmmmm? Answer me that? Ha! Anyone who has been in, has observed, or has been within a spitting distance of a mother-daughter couple knows that there is no lack of topics to argue about.

So, we are back from Upstate NY and it was a lovely trip. I grew up there and still love to visit and spend time with family and friends. Sophia was lucky to be spoiled by great-aunts, uncles, second cousins and family friends. She was unfazed by the crazy that is our family. She will fit right in.

While in NY my mom and I travelled to three local knitting stores. I am surprised to hear that some of you are from and/or have lived in Rochester! I tend to think of it as a place unknown to all but me…that and I often tend to opperate this blog as if I am in a vacuum. Aside from my lovie friends I tend to forget that others are reading and not commenting. The lurkers have been out lately and reminding me that there are people out there – I love it because it introduces me to new blogs and you all are smart, fun, women!

Anyway – the yarn stores. I learned to knit after moving away from my home town. As a result I had no idea if there were yarn stores in the area. A few years ago I began to explore a bit and found two that I try to stop at each time I am at my parent’s house. I recently discovered that there were quite a few more in the area that I was missing! I tried to find reviews or a list of local shops but was not successful. So, for the google-fu-ers who find there way here I will review MY THOUGHTS on those knitting stores that I made it to during my last visit to Rochester. I hope to get to the rest of the stores sometime during future visits.

The first I mentioned yesterday – Spirit Works Knitting and Design located in Irondiquoit. This shop is large (by Boston standards) and well organized. The staff is friendly but not overbearing. I have probably been in this shop a dozen times and have never felt pressured or annoyed with the staff – which makes me think that they encourage browsing. (Which is what I find myself doing in many yarn stores not for lack of want but lack of bank account. Although I often get caught and cannot resist the temptation.) This shop carries many of the major brands both on the high end and low end. I am also pleasently surprised with the change in their stock. They have increased their inventory since they first openned and every visit brings a new surprise. They have also increased their book inventory and have tons of pattern pamplets. Judging from the activity in the shop and the store’s website and blog building community is high on this store’s priority list. There are some great areas within the store for social interaction. My dad and husband particullary like the grouping of couches near the front – complete with a coffee table. The store is just down the street from The Great House of Guitars (HOG) – a Rochester institution. If you’re new to the area or visiting and in to music and/or guitars it is worth a stop in, just check your OCD at the door and be ready to step back in time! Spirit Works is one of the stores that I visit each time I go to Rochester.

From there we travelled to a store that was new to me – Knit ‘n Purl in Brighton’s Twelve Corners area. I am not sure when this store was established but I have a feeling it has been there for awhile. I will have to check with my peeps in town to double check this fact. The samples sprinkled around the store are definitely of the older boxier type. The stock is incredibly well established and there is a large variety for such a small store. There were many yarns here that were not at Spirit Works – something that I love to see in local stores – variety amongst them! There was some Misson Falls and more Noro than I have EVER seen in any other store. The Noro was the biggest surprise. Noro has a ton of different yarns and I was psyched to see such a selection live and in person. This was my first visit to this store and I could see myself going back as it is easy to get to and close to my parent’s house. The store does not have as much space as Spirit Works and isn’t organized quite as well but it does have a system and the sheer volume of yarn would likely guarantee you would go home with something.

Our last stop for the day was The Yarne Source in Henrietta. This store is teeny tiny and packed to the gills it definitely made me a feel a bit overwhelmed. The staff was friendly and jovial. They were thrilled to meet Sophia and ogled over her for a bit. The stock was average, no Rowan which is a downside for a LYS if it is your only source of yarn. But with so many other yarn stores in the area I suppose this is not too big of a deal. The yarn seemed to be organized by color, but even this was not the rule. Color organization is a pet-peeve of mine. Only because you are completely dependent on the store clerk to help you find a specific yarn if you already have it in mind before you enter the store. The weekend I was there the store had a fashion show planned at a local country club. I happened to catch a newscast featuring this up-and-coming event. The fashions showed on what I saw of the broadcast were a bit off my radar. A lot of novelty yarns and funkier knits, not so much my cup of tea. However, if you are in to that kind of style judging from that broadcast this would be the store for you. I would be curious to see the rest of their fashion shows line of samples (there are a few shown on the homepage of the website).

There are other stores in the area…some that I have been to, others that I have yet to visit. I’ll be checking them out during future visits and hopefully will report back here!

Here is a picture of Sophia with her Grandma.

Here she is at 7 weeks.

She’s looking more and more like her dad every day, especially when she makes this face…

Scene: My parent’s house, upstate NY. I am upstairs showering, Mom (or Grandma) is downstairs entertaining Baby.

Grandma: Sophia let’s go watch some quilting TV shows on Home and Garden TV. Quilting is fun. Quilting skips a generation and you’re going to be a quilter. None of that yucky knitting stuff for you.

Sophia: Grunt, gurgle

Wendy: Mom, I can hear you!

G: I know, why do you think I’m talking so loud?

S: Coo, gurgle, grunt.

You see what I’m up against here? That afternoon I took Sophia to her first knitting store (Spirit Works Knitting and Design) where so screamed her little head off.

Score for Sophia’s crafting soul: Grandma 1 point, Mama -1 point

ps – If you have not read the comments to my last post – you should. There is excellent advice, kind words and heartening stories. I did not intend to post and disappear. We took a trip to visit grandma and grandpa in Upstate NY. I am slowly getting back to each of you via email. What a fabulous community…

Today is the first day since Sophia’s birth and the subsequent hormonal breakdowns that I have felt challenged by this new role as a mother. When I look at all of the circumstances around me I see that today is no different than yesterday. The only difference is my ability to cope with those circumstances.

By all accounts I have it easy. I have a loving partner, a strong support network and the ability to reach out when I need help (although admittedly I am not so good at actually utilizing that ability.) There are many who have it infinitely worse. My baby is pretty easy going. However, she is a baby who’s only form of communication is a cry, scream, or grunt. I don’t care how compassionate you are…after nights and weeks of sleep deprivation the cry, the scream, and the grunt will start to fray your nerves. The home-bound lifestyle with little interaction with the outside world (save the Internet…ah, the love of a blog) will fray your nerves. We are not talking crisis here. Just a bit worn out and giving it a voice. Perhaps this will help it fall away quicker.

You know, I think it is the responsibility of caring for someone else that is more stressful than the actual caring itself. Even when she sleeps I feel the weight of responsibility. I suppose that will not go away for many, many years – if not decades. I suppose I will get used to that feeling and the weight will not be as great. I suppose when the kid can eat and poop without some sort of action on my part my days will feel a bit easier. He He.

Fortunately nursing has been a bit easier this past week (after a few weeks of the use of a nipple shield. Thank God for silicone). I have healed a bit and can now knit while feeding. At least during those times Ms. “I like to get mad at the boob and scream at it between drinks” is cooperating. So, with that I give you yet another picture of the hat. This one is for posterity sake and also because it makes me feel like I accomplished something – started and finished – that is a good feeling!

Motherhood has brought my ability to multitask to a whole new level. I just blew dry my hair while pooping. Man, do I have mad skills or what?

The little hat has been completed. I had to add some length as it was a bit small and kept popping off her head. The power of a knitter – fixing a project to suit your needs. You rarely have this kind of control over any part of your life. Ideally I would like to get this kind of thing right from the onset. However, in this case, adding ribbing was easy and just as cute (I would argue even cuter). I just picked up stitches along the edge and knit a 2×2 rib down from there. I increased about 5 stitches because I felt like the hat was a bit tight and I wanted baby to wear it for more than a week. When attempting this kind of modification the only thing you have to be aware of is the number of stitches you pick up, they should be a multiple of four.

Here is a photo of Sophia wearing her new hat while attending her first rock gig. She and her mama are an explosion of badly coordinated clothing. What can I say? It’s a miracle we even make it out of the house let alone make it out color coordinated. (Elisa avert your eyes, this will offend your sensibilities.)

(Mama’s sweater by me, Sophia’s sweater by Benedetta (Thanks Ben!), hat by me, sock in progress in the bag by me.)

Baby keeps losing her hats. She wears them out and they get stuck in a pocket, purse, diaper bag only to be found days later after a heated search of the premises. I have a plan to combat this, thereby eliminating the frantic search.

Knit more hats.

Yarn: Artyarns supermerino

Colorway: 154

Needles: US size 6 Denise Interchangeables

Gauge: 21 sts/4 in, 29 rows/in (knit in the round, unblocked)

Pattern: Made up, CO 60 sts. Still have to add some corkscrew thingies at the top.

Sophia wants to know if ladybug booties take away from her menacing super powers as baby super girl? Maybe she could save the world with cuteness?!

(Shirt by Rob, Booties by Stephanie (thanks Steph!))

I am now 31 years old and a mom. What a strange year it has been. I am, by far, the happiest I have ever been. Motherhood suits me well, if I do say so myself.

Laura has left some information about the sweater pattern and yarn she used in the comments of the previous post. Sophia wore her sweater *again* today. Look how grumpy she is about it!

There have been a few requests for pictures – who am I to deny the masses? (ps – Sophia’s photo album can be viewed here).

Comments are still down. We are working to fix them, I have enlisted the help of my dad. It’s hard to fix and or do things that require more than a half hour of effort. Sophia is a good baby – sleeps well, eats well, plays well. But she’s a baby and being held during the day is her favorite past time. Waking up to eat is the highlight of her day! Interspersed with these moments I am trying hard to slow down and enjoy this time. This requires me to pare down my to-do list. The thank-you cards will get done, eventually, the blog posts will get written (eventually), bills will get paid (eventually). In the meantime baby gets fed, loved and relished and all is as it should be.

Sophia and I have been incredibly fortunate. My fellow knitters and bloggers have showered us with love in the form of comments, positive energy, and postal love. Postal love? We’re talking packages that warrant a kiss on the cheek of the mailman that delivered them. And this is saying something because our mailman is a weird-o who likes to stuff our mail into our box crumpled up one piece at a time.

Right before Christmas I received a package from Laura A. Laura has been a visitor on this here blog since the very beginning (and a bookish girl contest winner!). She is witty, funny, and an all around super cool human being. She recently started a blog herself. In lieu of commenting here go give the girl some love. She is an incredible knitter. How do I know this you ask? She sent Sophia not one, but two incredibly gorgeous sweaters, and a matching hat. The pure genius at work here is illustrated with the thoughtful inclusion of the yarn labels, extra yarn, and extra buttons. Dude, why have I never thought of that?! I have thanked her formally and now would love for you to see her handy work. The seams are georgie-ous.

Thank you again Laura! Sophia is just fitting into the green sweater and it’s perfect!  Here is a blurry action shot of her with my BFF Juli (who was here visiting and just left – boohoohoo).  Juli was boucing the girl into happiness so the sweater lump of puddin’ is a bit blurry.  I hope to get a better shot sometime soon.

 

You guys are unbelievable. Thank you for the outpouring of good wishes and support. This past week has been a roller coaster. Our world has changed dramatically and we are negotiating the new territory with a mix of fear, excitement, paranoia, dumb luck and pure joy. My emotions have swung with the hormones and I am getting used to my new role as the primary caregiver. Breast feeding has been a trip and a half. This is what it feels like to breastfeed our little monkey.

I get to meet with a real live lactation consultant. My boobs have become part of the world now so many people have seen them, discussed them, and contemplated them. I’m hoping we’ll kick butt in no time.

My first realization that I was a mom – I had to fill out Sophia’s insurance paperwork at the pediatrician’s office. A question asked my relationship to the patient. Carefully and with deliberate pride I carefully printed

- Mother.